Signs Your Spouse Could Be Cheating
Infidelity and cheating in any type of romantic relationship are betrayals of the expectations one has of their partner. Psychological issues: Narcissistic traits or personality disorders are associated with a greater likelihood of cheating. With narcissism, an affair may be driven by ego and a sense of entitlement. In addition to being self-centered, people with these disorders often lack empathy, so they don't appreciate the impact of their actions on their spouse.
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Measure content performance. Develop and improve products. List of Partners vendors. Infidelity can be traumatic and is one of the more challenging problems faced in a relationship. While many people are blindsided if and when they find out about a spouse or partner cheating, others may suspect infidelity because of actions that are out of the norm.
Consider the following possible signs that your partner is not being faithful. As you can see, some of these signs actually are at odds with what is cheating on a spouse another. This range of possibilities, which is certainly not all-inclusive of everything, shows just how different signs can be from one person to the next.
And how to fix stained white clothes that while there are certain behavioral changes, curious actions, and odd occurrences that, together, may back up your unfortunate hunch, none of the following definitely indicate your partner is cheating.
A breakdown in communication is never a positive sign. If you can't get your spouse to communicate or even fight with you, they no longer share their day with you, or the words "I love you" are no longer spoken, there's likely an underlying issue.
The following signs of stonewallingwhich involves refusing to listen to, respond to, or accept what you're saying, may also signal infidelity:. Certainly, taking care of yourself and devoting yourself to new hobbies and passions or even your work can be positive, but when combined with other suspicious behaviors, the following changes may be cause for concern. Your spouse may experience work stress or problems with other relationships that can lead to changes in attitude.
The following might be signs of infidelity, but they could also signal other issues. Dishonesty in a marriage is a red flag. These avoidance strategies may indicate that your spouse may be cheating. When your spouse shows apathy or lack of interest in things that they used to love, communicate with them to see if there is another reason for the change in engagement.
But if you also suspect infidelitythese changes may be further indication of an affair. It is not uncommon for there to be fluctuations in the frequency of sex in your marriage. But these signs may indicate the possibility of an affair. Almost all marriages undergo some kind of financial stress at one time or another. But what do red sided garter snakes eat may want to investigate certain money issues when you notice them in your marriage.
Infidelity is often revealed online, in text messages, or phone messages. These tech changes may how to stop cats pooping on the carpet concern.
In most cases, even when you confront your partner with accusations of cheating, it will be denied. Unless you have hard evidence or irrefutable proof, many people will not admit to infidelity.
There are a few ways that you can tell if your spouse is lying. If you keep getting denial and push-back when trying to discuss your concerns with your partner, what is cheating on a spouse may need to get professional help to sort through things.
A couples' counselor will be neutral and can help you gain insight into what exactly is going on in your marriage. If your partner refuses to attend, consider individual counseling to help process the mixture of feelings like hurt, shock, fear, depression, shame, and mistrust you're likely experiencing.
Caring for your own mental and physical health is essential during this stressful time. In addition to emotional distress, you may be experiencing physical reactions like sleep and eating disturbances too little or too muchgastrointestinal problems nausea or diarrheaand trouble concentrating. To keep up your strength and resolve, try your best to drink plenty of water, exercise, stick to a regular sleep schedule, and eat a healthful diet.
Again, there is no definitive way to tell if your partner is cheating without asking directly or catching them in the act. What may be a warning sign in one relationship may be nothing to be concerned about in another relationship. In fact, most signs of infidelity are quite subtle. It is only when the lies and stories stop adding up that the cheating usually comes to light.
Don't try to get through coping with unfaithfulness alone. Before you make any decisions about whether or not to end your marriageit's wise to seek relationship therapy either together or alone. Learn the best ways to manage stress and negativity in your life. American Association for Marriage and Family What is physical fitness essay. About marriage and family therapists.
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Attitude Changes. Lying and Avoidance. Changes in Your Sex Life. Money Issues. A Change in Technology Use. How to Deal With a Lying Spouse. Was this page helpful? Thanks for your feedback! Sign Up. What are your concerns? Article Sources. Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy. Related Articles.
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Nicole Richardson, LPC, LMFT
May 29, · Legally, cheating in a marriage often constitutes two people having a sexual relationship with at least one party being married to someone else. Unfortunately, in real life, cheating isn’t so simply defined. There are many avenues of infidelity, ranging from emotional attachments to cyber-dating. May 02, · Broadly, cheating can be defined as being emotionally or sexually unfaithful to your partner who you are in a closed relationship with. Having intimate physical or emotional contact with another person is typically considered cheating. Feb 20, · A cheating spouse may tell themselves that their husband or wife is to blame for their behavior. They may even convince themselves that .
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Frustration in the marriage is one common trigger; the cheater may make several attempts to solve problems to no avail. Maybe they had second thoughts about getting married or they were jealous over the attention is given to a new baby and neither had the skill set to communicate these feelings. Perhaps the straying spouse has childhood baggage — neglect, abuse, or a parent who cheated — that interferes with his or her ability to maintain a committed relationship. Less often, the cheater doesn't value monogamy, lacks empathy, or simply doesn't care about the consequences.
We will take a look at a number of risk factors and causes for cheating, but it's important to point out upfront that a partner doesn't cause their spouse to cheat. Whether it was a cry for help, an exit strategy, or a means to get revenge after being cheated on themselves, the cheater alone is responsible for cheating. Men are more likely to have affairs than women and are often seeking more sex or attention. So sex becomes an important path to connection and intimacy.
If men aren't sexually satisfied for instance, if their spouse declines sex often , they take that rejection to heart, and it can easily translate to feeling "unloved. When women cheat, they're often trying to fill an emotional void. Women are more likely to feel unappreciated or ignored, and seek the emotional intimacy of an extramarital relationship. An affair is more often a "transitional" partner for the woman as a way to end the relationship. She is seriously looking to leave her marriage and this other person helps her do just that.
That's not to say that sexual satisfaction isn't a primary driver of affairs for wives as well as husbands. Similarly, boredom with the marital relationship may lead both men and women to cheat. In one study of men and women who were actively pursuing or involved in extramarital affairs, both genders said they were hoping to improve their sex lives—because they felt their primary relationship was lacking between the sheets.
There's a myriad of reasons or causes why men or women may engage in an extramarital liaison, but certain risk factors—either with one of the individuals or the marriage as a whole—increase the odds it will happen. The general rule is that it takes two to tango, or in this case, to mess up their marriage with an affair, but there are certainly exceptions. Individual factors that may increase the chance of infidelity include:. In a study looking at personality traits, women who ranked high in "neuroticism" and men who ranked higher in " narcissism " were more likely to cheat.
Problems in the marital relationship can also be a risk factor for cheating. Some of these include:. With or without individual or marital risk factors there are a number of possible reasons for marital infidelity. Underlying many of the reasons, however, lie a few threads. One is the role of unmet needs. One partner may be incapable of fulfilling their partner's needs, but far too often, those needs have not been expressed.
Marital partners are not mind-readers. Another is the lack of addressing problems directly. Running away from problems conflict avoidance rather than staying and addressing them is another crucial element in communication and commitment in marriage. Some of the reasons cited as the cause for cheating may include:. In addition to the primary reasons for cheating noted above, there are secondary reasons that may lead to an affair.
Sometimes people have a suspicion that their spouse is cheating but don't have any solid evidence. While often the best approach in marriage is to be direct, you may wonder if it will cause more damage to ask directly. And, of course, the answer your spouse gives could either be the truth or a lie. The best approach will vary for different couples, but if you're concerned, it may be a good idea to look for some of the signs.
In some marriages, an affair is a cry for help, a way to force the couple to finally face the problems that both parties are aware of but aren't addressing. In this case, the partner often actually tries to get caught as a way of bringing the issue to the fore.
Other times a partner may simply see infidelity as an exit strategy—a way to end an unhappy marriage. Regardless of the underlying reason a spouse cheats, it can either devastate a marriage or be the catalyst for rebuilding it, depending upon how the infidelity is dealt with.
You may, however, want to explore how the dynamics between you and your spouse led you to this point. Recognizing that infidelity is a symptom of deeper issues can lead a couple to fix the underlying problems in their relationship and grow closer.
If you were the one cheated on, it's critical to realize that you're not responsible for your spouse making the decision to cheat. You are not to blame for his or her behavior.
Women tend to find emotional affairs more threatening than sexual affairs, whereas men are more willing to forgive emotional affairs but for both, the most common response to learning of their partner's affair is jealousy. Even if you were the one wronged, working with a professional may be helpful in coping and recovering yourself. Unresolved jealousy can lead to resentment, and as the old adage claims: "Resentment is like poison you drink yourself, and then wait for the other person to die.
Some couples can move past infidelity and move on to have even an even better relationship, whereas some cannot. Certainly, there are times when continuing the marriage wouldn't be recommended. Before you analyze the specifics of the affair from your spouse's perspective and look at why the affair occurred in terms of his or her needs, it's important to look at your own needs.
This can be more challenging than it sounds, especially amidst the jealousy and anger. If you were the one who had an affair, there are several steps you can take if you hope to save your marriage. Foremost you need to stop cheating and lying immediately and own your choice.
Being patient and giving your spouse space is essential. That doesn't say it will work out. It may not. But without accepting full responsibility not blaming or justifying your behavior the chances will be low. The chance that you can get past the affair depends on many factors, such as the reasons why it occurred and the characteristics of both people.
To truly understand and move forward, both partners will need to listen to the other which can be extremely challenging in this setting , and not assume that their partner's motivation or feelings would be the same as their own.
For those who decide to try and overcome infidelity, it appears that the mutual capacity to forgive and a strong commitment to the relationship are key. There are many potential reasons for cheating, and marriage is complicated. But speaking directly, expressing your needs, practicing forgiveness, and making a commitment to work on your marriage daily, are the best insurance plans to protect your marriage. Learn the best ways to manage stress and negativity in your life.
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Mark, K. Archives of Sexual Behavior. Park, Y. Current Psychology. Selterman, W. Motivations for Extradyadic Infidelity Revisited.
The Journal of Sex Research. Weiser, A. Family Background and Propensity to Engage in Infidelity. Journal of Family Issues.
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